Why No One’s Hot Anymore

The Collapse of Modern Attraction

Something strange is happening in the modern dating market. Despite unprecedented access to potential partners—thanks to apps, social media, and a supposedly more open-minded society—people are finding it harder than ever to connect in meaningful, lasting ways. It's not just anecdotal: marriage rates are down, birth rates are falling, more people are single, and loneliness is surging. Beneath the surface lies a harsh truth: both sexes are becoming less attractive to each other. Cultural, physical, and economic shifts have warped the traits that men and women have traditionally sought in one another. This growing mismatch can be understood through two key dynamics—hoeflation and broflation—each offering insight into why modern women and men, respectively, are falling short of the standards they hold for one another.

Both sexes today exhibit fewer of the traits that the other finds attractive. Add in the effects of social atomization, and you get a situation where men and women are working harder than ever to find partners who, in many cases, are less desirable than what their ancestors would have considered a last resort. This dynamic can be explained through two concepts: hoeflation and broflation.

Hoeflation

Hoeflation has three main causes. The first is social: modern women are significantly more left-leaning than men, creating a cultural mismatch that complicates relationships.

The other two are physical: today's population is both fatter and older—traits that reduce male attraction to women more than they diminish female attraction to men.

Due to the low birth rate and increased life spans, the median age in the U.S. is approaching 40, making it the oldest population in American history. You’d think that wouldn’t matter much—after all, people tend to pair off with others close to their own age, right? But multiple studies have shown that men—regardless of their own age—consistently rate women aged 18 to 25 as the most attractive. While most men eventually pair off with someone closer to their own age, their underlying preference for younger women still matters. In the past, older guys might shoot their shot with college girls and usually fail—unless they aged well or had money—then go on to settle for someone closer to their own age. But as the population gets older and the number of older men outpaces the number of young women, those younger women become increasingly scarce. This creates a dynamic where many men past their prime feel less motivated to compete at all. But even if you're a young buck able to pull 19-year-olds, there's still the fatty question.

Obesity rates, while having plateaued somewhat, remain significantly higher than in the past. This disproportionately affects women in the dating market, as men tend to place a higher value on thinness than women do when evaluating potential partners.

One study, which asked men to design their ideal woman using 3D imaging software, found that “the ideal female body according to men had a BMI of 18.82, a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.70, and a waist-to-chest ratio of 0.67.”

Ideal Average

In other words, the female figure men find most attractive hasn’t shifted upward in step with rising obesity rates—it remains nearly underweight by medical standards.

Broflation

Broflation, by contrast, is driven less by physical traits and more by attitudes and economic status.

First, there's been a cultural shift: traditional masculinity is now widely stigmatized. The new norms—often promoted by women—tend to produce men who are timid, resentful, passive, and reluctant to approach women. Ironically, these are not the kinds of men women are attracted to.

Second, there's the economic factor. While the gender pay gap has narrowed, most women still prefer men who earn significantly more than they do. That expectation remains strong, even as the number of men who can fulfill it continues to shrink.

The Future

Dating in the modern world is increasingly defined by paradox: more choice, but less satisfaction; more freedom, but less connection. Hoeflation and broflation aren't just clever terms—they capture a deeper collapse in the traits and values that once brought men and women together. As both sides become less willing—or able—to meet each other’s standards, relationships become harder to form and even harder to maintain. The result is a culture where everyone is searching, but fewer are finding. Unless something changes, the future of dating looks like more isolation, more frustration, and more resentment between the sexes.